My name is Wayne Krieger, and I'm a douche

I'd like your support in my effort to tax all the lazy athiest bike riders who pollute our fine Oregon highways with their two-wheeled deviance. They've enjoyed their "special rights" long enough! What about our special rights not to perform abortions on demand? What about our special rights not to dispense Advil for headaches if we're Christian Scientists? What about that?

We in the Oregon legislature are proposing a just and fair tax on bicycles. Register your bicycle every year, just like a car. $54 every two years, for each bicycle each adult owns. Easy. We plan to use the money for charity, funding important Catholic relief efforts that the government no longer sponsers. Rather than maintain expensive, redundant government infrastructure, we prefer, in the system we like to call "Bushanomics," to fund the already-existing, faith-based organizations in America. We forsee vast tent cities, called "Dubyavilles," centered around a traveling "soup wagon" partially funded by your bicycle taxes.
In addition, your bicycle taxes will go toward defraying the outrageous costs the Catholic church incurs while defending priests accused of child molestation.